Stress!

Stress manifests in many ways. I know this. I am a counselor by trade and I learned about Stress and Stress Management Many years ago. I have lectured to large groups about it. I have made tapes and CDs for coping and managing it. I have written papers and counseled hundreds of stressed out individuals over the years. Well, let me tell you that tearing down a house and reconstructing it is STRESSFUL. Last night my stress showed itself in a dream. I dreamt that we had tiled around our fireplace. (We hadn't but this was a dream). In the dream I leaned on the tile and it crumbled down to the floor. A huge hole was all that was left in the wall. This afternoon before leaving for work I had piled my car high with more STUFF to take to the thrift store to donate. Yes, we are still finding STUFF we no longer need. I left it off and then went on to my office. At my office I noticed I did not have my notebook computer with me. I remembered distinctly packing it up to bring to work. I called home to see if I left it there. DH said "NO", it was not where I asked him to look. OMIGOD, all I could think then was the guys at the thrift store must have taken it by mistake when they removed all the stuff from my car. I had a client coming in 10 minutes. I got in my car and raced back to the thrift store. I frantically went looking for my stuff I had just dumped there five minutes earlier. I could not see it. It was already gone. This was NOT a dream. This was really happening. I described the little black case I used to carry my notebook to the guy who had unloaded my car. I distinctly remember telling him not to take my backpack. We could not find it. Then I told him it contained my computer. "Oh, he said, your husband called earlier and said to tell you that he found it at home." I raced back to my office to see my client. This was STRESS. I was sweaty and hot. It was not particularly hot out today. It was in the 70's. I came home from work tonight to see that the two toilets had been installed. The 2nd one DH said still wobbled. He'd have to call the plumber back in the morning. It was late and he was just leaving to go to the grocery store for something for dinner. I was feeling "TAZ" rear it's ugly head inside of me. "Taz" is short for this awful feeling I get when I cannot contain my feelings and I want to lash out at someone physically and/or verbally or both and tear them limb from limb usually because my blood sugar level is low and I need to EAT NOW!!! And also because I could not SEE any significant changes in the house like more books being put away. This was STRESS!!! I needed to go sit quietly and de-stress myself. First I got a handful of almonds and munched on them to bring my blood sugar level up a bit. That works almost instantaneously. Then I did some slow deep breathing. That helps too. Then I got up and emptied the dish washer. I was putting the last dish away when DH came in and handed me a burrito. I sat and ate. He fell asleep in his recliner. I turned on TV and I fell asleep too. Henry had jumped on my lap and he fell asleep as well. The three of us were totally and completely blown out of the water by all we have been doing, experiencing, achieving, creating, and we needed to lay low. I'll get to bed a little early tonight. I will be more attentive when I pack up for work tomorrow. I will let it be okay if nothing more gets done in the house for a day or two. Deep breath. Deep breath. Deep Breath! Good night.