Thursday, September 4, 2008

A Coiled Turn of Events

Have you seen a photograph lately of a colon?
It's a long snake like tube that curls around itself in side you or so it seems in the brochure the doctor gave me with information about having a COLONOSCOPY!!! You know, that much dreaded examination that one has to have when one reaches a certain age! (Maybe sooner if there is a history of colon cancer in your family!) They are going to poke a " long flexible lighted tube into my rectum and beyond" it says in the brochure. It looks like a snake with a headlight! They'll be looking for polyps and they'll want me to tell them ahead of time that they can remove them if they find any. Well, I guess so, I sure don't want to have to go through all this again! They use a "thin snare wire to encircle the said polyp and tighten it and an electric current is passed through the wire which cuts off the polyp." I think I could have done better not having read that part! So I have been getting ready for THE DAY, which is TOMORROW!
Pre-Prep Day for Colonoscopy!
Cancel all clients for Thursday. Find a friend who can take you to the clinic and back And stay with you afterwards. (Why? In case you bleed out?) Make Jell-O for tomorrow. It’s all you are allowed eat. See if you have Bullion. You can “eat?” that too. Have a bottle of apple juice and Gatorade on hand. Mix the prep gunk you are to drink tomorrow to purge your system. Put it in the refrigerator, as they say it’s easier to ingest if it is cold. Go to sleep and plan to sleep in. Prep Day! Thursday.
Take your time getting up in the morning, as there is no where you need to go. Remember that you cannot eat all day long. (Except for Jell-O and Bullion) Think of it as "you might lose another pound day"! And the only exercise you are going to get is running to the bathroom. Speaking of which, make sure you have plenty of toilet paper on hand. Put magazines and a good book in the bathroom. (They tell me I may be spending most of the day in there.) Put off drinking the gunk as long as possible. Get up, shower, wash hair. You don’t need make up (I don’t wear any anyway, but if YOU do), as no one is going to see you today. No earrings either. Dress in light weight clothing with pants with an elastic waist for easy pulling ups and downs. Running shoes have been suggested. (Optional) Weigh yourself, so you can have a base-line for tomorrow after you are emptied out. Call the doctors’ office to make sure of the time of the procedure And that it is still On BEFORE you start to drink the gunk. Put a load of wash in the washing machine. Pick up your living room. Vacuum. Load the dish washer. Do anything that will put off drinking the gunk. Measure in a measuring cup just how much 8 oz is. Do not fill a cup with more than 8 oz. of gunk. No need to over-do it. Mark the cup at 8 ounces, as you will have to fill it up every ten minutes and drink this amount for about an hour and a half...or until you get the ALL CLEAR sign. ;-) The doctors' office calls and offers two choices of times for the PROCEDURE
tomorrow. I take the earliest one, 8:30 a.m.
I will not have eaten for over 24 hrs by then and will be faint and weak.
My dear best friend, Patty will come to load me in her car and drive me the
fifteen minute drive to the clinic.
(She'll stay there and bring me home again, and stay with me afterwards
to make sure I am okay...this is what really good friends do for each other)
I am told not to start drinking the gunk until 2 PM. today.
Reminded what I can and CANNOT eat and drink and
am told that after 2 a.m. this morning (or is that tomorrow morning)
not to drink water, eat anything, no pills, not even chew gum.
Darn, I always chew gum at 2 a.m. Doesn't everyone?
Well, I thought this would be helpful to all of you who have a colon.
It is an important exam. Prevents disease if caught early, etc. etc. etc.
and only kills <1%>
Hopefully I will not be one of those!
Okay, I like to share, but I will probably NOT share the rest of the afternoon,
except maybe for the speed of my run, or the emptiness of my stomach,
but I promise not to be any more graphic than that.
Hey, Misery Loves Company!
1:52 PM: Announcement: I just drank the first 8 oz cup of gunk and it wasn't bad. It's salty and a tiny bit sweet, (added lemon lime flavor to it) and cold, it went right down....I expected disgusting, but it wasn't. What a pleasant surprise... Okay, gotta run............................................................
4:50 pm UPDATE: eight and 3/4s 8 oz glasses of gunk later... feel like barfing.... spent from 3 P.M. - 4 P.M. on throne... read all about the Obama's in Ebony magazine, did some hand embroidery... well in between trips, watched some game shows on TV... did I say I feel like barfing? I am so FULL of liquids.... I am NOT HUNGRY... have to finish glass #9 but CANTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT dont want tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo OYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY VEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYY This is NOT FUN!!!!!! FRIDAY MORNING PATTY IS HERE and we are off to the clinic. I feel great! All better....


  1. Yikes! Good luck with that and yes, you don't need to share further details!

  2. Oh dear.. sounds like a fun afternoon in store for you. did you get those running shoes on?
    I hope it all works out. :)

  3. Oh and I bet this is the first bit of sugar you have had in months.. all that jello. you might end up with a sugar high.

  4. Gosh, hope you get some rest from........
    Take care
    love your blog, an inspiration to beginners like me

  5. Gosh I didnt know about all these elaborate preps. I hope it went well and you can rest now and after a bit , eat. I have not had this test, and I don't know if I will. You are brave.

  6. OMG what a chore...hope it went well and you can rest now and 'refill' and 'refuel' yourself...when do you get the results?

  7. You're the only person I know who can blog a colonoscopy in detail. I'm glad it went well.

  8. Lisa here: wow, it's like being in the room with you! (like when people tell their labor stories...) even I was not brave enough to share the photos of my colon.
    Lynn, you are amazing- and what a fine looking colon, too!! Glad it's "behind" you....

  9. Thanks all for your support in this ORDEAL. I guess I make it an not good at medical stuff when it's about me/my body. Very fearful.
    The results I was told SB was that it was a "normal colonsocopy". I got two pieces of paper, one telling me that I needed a followup with the doctor in four weeks,and the other saying I did not need a followup appointment. I'll call to see which is right.

  10. Lisa, it was nothing like giving birth I assure you. It was one day with a few uncomfortable hours of "purging"...and one few minutes of difficult (for me) IV attachment/poke; and the rest is an amnesic blur. No memory of the EVENT at all.
    But some very vivid scary dreams for several nights since. This I attribute to the medication still in my system.


Thanks for leaving your comments as I love hearing from you. Your words of encouragement are why I continue to draw!